


back to the future

by thunderylee



Category: Kanjani8 (Band), NewS (Band)
Genre: Canon Universe, Future Fic, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-12
Updated: 2012-08-12
Packaged: 2019-01-19 18:56:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12415986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: When Shige gets dumped by his boyfriend, Ryo can’t figure out why this makes him happy.





	back to the future

**Author's Note:**

> reposted from agck. written for cotton candy bingo (future).

Ryo doesn’t normally frequent this side of town, but he’d been on the way home from visiting Jin and something about this little hole-in-the-wall bar called his attention. It wouldn’t hurt to stop for a drink, he tells himself. But just one, because he still has a long way home.

He takes a seat in a corner booth, which is his preferred spot in these kinds of establishments. Not just because he’s trying not to be recognized, but also because he likes to people watch. The corner booth gives him the best view of the entire place without making him look like a complete creeper.

Having been in the entertainment industry since before he can remember, he’s interested to observe how “normal” people lead their lives. The drunker they get, the louder they talk, and Ryo hears stories about asshole bosses and bitch wives or whatever led them to drink in the first place. Ryo didn’t know that people drank because they were upset until he started watching others.

Ryo’s attention sharpens as he catches a familiar figure standing over by the pool tables. It couldn’t be…could it? Ryo’s hardly had anything to drink; he can’t possibly be seeing illusions already. But there it is, clear as day, the face he’d seen for so many years, on stage and off.

“Shige,” he says under his breath, palm flattened on the table to scoot out of the booth, but something halts him in his tracks.

Another man sidles up to Shige, standing entirely too close, but all Shige does is smile at him. Ryo’s heart stops, but only long enough to remember the time and place. He hasn’t even seen Shige for five years. He has to be pushing thirty now. Of course he would settle down with someone else after all that time. Ryo hadn’t heard anything about it, but that doesn’t mean anything. They haven’t exactly kept in touch since Ryo left NEWS.

It’s been so long that he can’t even feel guilty about it, and whenever he starts to, he just reminds himself how much better off NEWS is without him. Four is a nice symmetrical number. The fans like them better as four if the sales figures have anything to say about it. Ryo has always felt that the four of them had a stronger bond than he and Yamapi had had with any of them.

A loud roar pulls Ryo’s head out of the clouds, his eyes narrowing as the guy Shige’s with is now yelling at him. Shige’s long since grown into his attitude and yells back, and Ryo seriously thinks they’re about to break out into a fight until the other guy slams some money down on the table and storms out. Ryo watches him go, then turns his eyes back to Shige, who looks frustrated and incredibly embarrassed.

Shige doesn’t leave right away, mumbling apologizes to the other patrons and the bartender before settling at the bar with a drink. Ryo recognizes the look of despair, similar to all of the other men who wallow in their beers, only this time he’s emotionally invested. He spends a good while weighing his options, deciding whether he should approach him or leave him alone.

Ryo thinks about what he would want if he were in this situation. He’d definitely want to be left alone. Which leads him to complete the action of exiting the booth, because Shige’s always been the exact _opposite_ of him when it comes to these things.

“Yo,” he says casually, leaning his elbows on the bar next to him. “What’s a hot-shot like you doing in a place like this?”

Slowly, Shige lifts his red eyes to face Ryo, and Ryo recognizes the look of shock as he recognizes him. “Ryo.”

“Oh, good, you remember my name.” Ryo flashes a grin to show that he’s kidding, and the corners of Shige’s mouth turn up just a little bit. “I’d ask how things are, but I’m pretty sure I just watched them walk out the door.”

“That was…I mean, that is…” Shige hangs his head over his beer again. “I’m better off without him, really.”

That has Ryo arching an eyebrow. “What makes you say that?”

“He was kind of a dick,” Shige says, followed by an ironic laugh. “He wasn’t mean or anything, but he always liked to pick these arguments and would get mad when I would debate him on it.”

“Sounds familiar,” Ryo comments.

Now Shige laughs outright. “You were different.”

“I don’t argue that much anymore,” Ryo tells him. “Waste of effort, especially for stubborn fucks like you.”

“Nice to see you again, too.” Shige smiles despite himself, and Ryo feels a warmth inside that isn’t entirely from the alcohol. Time has been good to Shige, he notices, his features more chiseled and his eyes holding more wisdom. His hair is still stupidly long, but Ryo wouldn’t expect anything less.

“So do you plan on drinking your sorrows away all night?” Ryo asks, twirling his car keys on his finger.

Shige looks down at his half-full beer, considers it, and pushes it away. “What did you have in mind?”

“Anywhere but here,” Ryo says, and Shige nods and gestures for his tab. Ryo smacks his hand down and pays for both of them. “Consider it my consolation for your broken heart.”

“Consolation accepted,” Shige says, wincing as he shakes out his hand.

They walk out to the parking area, the warm summer air hitting their faces as Shige follows Ryo to his car.

“You got a new car,” Shige comments.

Ryo unlocks all of the doors and plops into the driver’s seat. “I’ve had it for a few years, but yeah, you wouldn’t know it.”

“I didn’t…” Shige starts, then falls silent as he presumably rearranges his words. “I never wanted us to stop being friends, Ryo.”

“You were the one who didn’t return my phone calls,” Ryo says. “Even I can take a hint.”

“I’m sorry.” Shige turns to face him as they get on the main road. “I hated your face for awhile, then I kind of missed it, and by the time I wanted to see it again it had already been so long.”

“I know,” Ryo says comfortingly, reaching over to pat Shige on the arm briefly. “It’s been five years, Shige. It’s all water under the bridge now.”

Shige looks down at where Ryo’s hand just was. “Yeah. You’re right.”

“So where is there to go around here?” Ryo asks casually. “I don’t want to stray too far since I have to take you back there to get your car.”

“Um, I didn’t drive tonight,” Shige admits, and Ryo’s so filled with rage that he almost turns the car around. “He would have come back eventually. He always does.”

“What the fuck, Shige,” Ryo hisses. “What are you doing with that kind of guy anyway?”

Shige shrugs. “Biding my time.”

“You didn’t have feelings for him?”

“I don’t know what feelings are anymore.”

Ryo stares at him for as long as he dares, then turns his attention back to the road. There’s an exit up ahead for the beach, and Ryo takes it. He parks as close to the washing tide as he can, gets out of the car, and leans against the hood. The sounds of the waves crashing on the shore are relaxing, both the sky and ocean black.

The sound of the other car door opening shakes Ryo out of his thoughts, his nerves on edge as Shige takes a similar stance next to him. They sit in silence, watching the ocean while it rages and calms, much like Ryo feels at this moment.

“Mad at me?” Shige asks quietly.

“Yes,” Ryo replies. “I would think that growing up would have taught you to respect yourself better than that.”

“I respect myself just fine,” Shige says. “I just make bad life choices.”

Ryo laughs out loud. “You can say that again.”

“Why do you even care?” Shige folds his arms and stares out at the ocean, like a teenage girl throwing a tantrum. It’s strangely comforting, and Ryo tears his eyes away from the scenery to stare straight at Shige.

“I never stopped caring about you, idiot,” he says. “You don’t spend seven years of your life with someone just to suddenly forget about them once you don’t see each other anymore. We were _friends_ , Shige. I care about what happens to you, even if you don’t care about me anymore.”

Shige snorts. “You have no idea how I feel, Ryo. Don’t make assumptions—you know how much that pisses me off.”

“You know how much I used to enjoy pissing you off,” Ryo recalls with a laugh. “Sometimes it was the only way to get the truth out of you.”

“You want the truth?” Shige demands, the rise in his voice carrying away with the tide. “I’ll tell you the truth. I didn’t love him at all. I couldn’t, no matter how hard I tried, because even after all of this time, I’m still in love with _you_.”

Suddenly every part of Ryo’s being freezes. “What?”

“You fucking heard me.” Shige’s staring intently at the ocean now, like if he looks hard enough, it will come swallow him up. “Go ahead, make fun of me.”

“I’m not going to make fun of you,” Ryo says, finding his voice. “I…just…why? When?”

“Who knows,” Shige sighs out. “It was so long ago, I can’t even tell you what started it. Maybe how you encouraged me to not be a quitter and stay in NEWS—”

“Shige, that was twelve years ago!” Ryo interrupts. “You can’t possibly have felt that way for so long.”

“Oh, it’s possible.” Shige glances to the side, notices Ryo’s awestruck expression, and Ryo can almost see his defensive shield break down. “That’s why it hurt so badly, you know. When you left. I knew it had nothing to do with any of us, but it still felt like you were leaving _me_.”

Ryo wonders if this is what it feels like when your heart breaks. All he feels is sadness and regret, angry at the timing and the world—everything, really. “Why didn’t you say anything?” Ryo asks.

Now Shige laughs outright, but it’s not out of amusement. “What would you have done, Ryo? You don’t like men, and that’s okay. I know that, and I’m sorry for putting you in such an awkward place right now. I’ve never wished I was a girl so much as when I think about you and our history and what became of our lives.”

“You’d look funny as a girl,” is all Ryo can think of to say, and Shige snorts. “I don’t think I’d like you that way at all. You’d be entirely too bitchy and I just don’t have time for that.”

Shige tries to hide his laugh, but it comes out anyway, and Ryo had no idea how much he wanted Shige to smile until he felt this whoosh of relief. “I don’t really want to be one, either. I’m perfectly fine with the way I am right now. You taught me that.”

“Shige.”

“Don’t say anything, okay?” Shige asks, but his voice is wavering. “Let’s just get back in the car and I’ll give you directions to my apartment. It’s not far, and you can even crash if you want—”

The rest of his words are muffled as Ryo grabs for his collar, crushing their mouths together. It’s a mess of lips and teeth until Shige relaxes, a puff of hot air hitting Ryo’s cheek as he exhales and melts into the kiss. Ryo can only imagine what’s going through his head right now, finally kissing someone he’s loved for so many years, though he assumes it’s similar to the first kiss with someone you just fell in love with five minutes ago.

Ryo doesn’t try for anything more than just pressing their lips together, and neither does Shige. After what feels like forever, he pulls back and watches Shige’s eyelids flutter open, his face a mixture of amazement and confusion and elation, which has Ryo smiling because it’s _cute_.

“I like you better as a man,” Ryo tells him, reaching for his hand. It’s much different than holding a girl’s hand, and Ryo thinks (hopes) this is the beginning of a long line of comparisons.

“Don’t fuck with me, Ryo,” Shige says suddenly, his eyes narrowing into a glare. “Have you even been with a man before?”

“No, but I fail to see what that matters.” Ryo holds onto Shige’s hand when he tries to pull it away. “For what it’s worth, I’ve messed around with guys before, but never all the way. I never trusted anyone enough to give myself completely like that.”

The rage in Shige’s face subsides and he laces his fingers through Ryo’s. “I want to believe you.”

“Do you want me to prove it?” Ryo asks. “We can go to your place right now and you can do anything you want to me. Anything.”

“What if I want to tie you up and whip you?” Shige asks.

Ryo cringes. “I’ll try to like it?”

“Ryo.” Shige shakes his head. “You don’t have to prove anything to me.”

“Let’s go anyway,” Ryo says, reluctantly dropping Shige’s hand to get back into the car. A second later, Shige joins him, and this time it’s Shige who places his hand on top of Ryo’s once they’re back in drive. Shige gives him directions and soon they’re pulling into guest parking; Ryo notices Shige’s driving the same car he had five years ago and feels a pang of nostalgia.

“This way,” Shige says, leading Ryo up a flight of stairs and down a hallway. It gives him a nice view of Shige’s ass, which he’s never stopped to check out before. He’s been missing out on a hell of a lot, it seems.

“Hey Shige,” Ryo starts as they enter the apartment and take off their shoes. “What do you think would have happened if we’d hooked up back then?”

“Who knows,” Shige answers, disappearing into the kitchen to grab two beers. “Fate works in mysterious ways. Probably some dumb thing would have happened to break us up and I’d hate your face again.”

“You’re so pessimistic,” Ryo says, creeping up behind Shige and placing the beers back on the counter. Shige gives him an incredulous expression as he turns around, but then Ryo’s not looking anymore. He pulls Shige toward him by his collar once again, and this time he doesn’t just stop at closed-mouth kissing.

“Ryo,” Shige tries to get out, though he seems to have just as much trouble stopping as he is speaking. Ryo finds himself losing more and more control with each passing second, until his back is up against the counter and Shige’s pressed flush against him.

Ryo feels something hard poke into his hip and it gives him a rush unlike any other. “I must be a pretty damn good kisser.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Shige growls, and Ryo shudders from the depth of his voice. “You have five seconds to walk away from this before I fuck you into the wall.”

“Wouldn’t the bed be more comfortable?” Ryo replies. “Neither one of us are exactly young anymore.”

Shige rolls his eyes as he grabs Ryo’s arm and drags him down the hall. “You are so insufferable.”

“That’s why you love me,” Ryo shoots back, and the next second finds him thrown down on to his back with Shige crawling on top of him.

“It is, dammit,” Shige replies, then kisses Ryo with so much fervor that he almost losing his mind, his only focus on Shige and how this feels. Suddenly it’s like the past five years never happened, and Ryo sees it all—how Shige used to look at him, crave his approval, and jump to spend time with him. He’s a fucking idiot for never noticing, even after Shige had come out to them when they reformed the first time.

“I’m sorry,” Ryo hisses into Shige’s mouth, and Shige makes a questioning noise. “I’m sorry I never noticed. Let me make it up to you now.”

Now Shige groans, a deep rumbling sound that vibrates Ryo’s entire body and leaves him wanting more. Shige’s slow at undressing him, though he’s probably giving Ryo a last chance to back out of this unfucked, which Ryo is certainly not going to take. He rushes to take off Shige’s clothes, because if there’s one thing he’s good at, it’s getting changed _very fast_ , though he doesn’t plan on putting anything else on for a long while.

His hand ends up bumping into Shige’s cock and a groan of a different kind graces his ears, one that Ryo wants to hear again as he wraps his fingers around the hard flesh and tugs. It’s not that much different touching someone else than just touching himself, except that he can’t feel any of it until Shige shoves down his pants and returns the favor.

“God, Shige,” Ryo mutters, and he can almost _see_ Shige’s ego preening at the submission. “I want you so bad, Shige, hurry up.”

“You don’t even know what you’re wanting,” Shige grumbles. “Unless you’ve experimented back there?”

Ryo shakes his head. “I haven’t. But it has to be good, right? Or men wouldn’t do it that way. Show me, Shige.”

With a huff that’s more lustful than annoyed, Shige leans over to rummage around in his nightstand, and Ryo takes the opportunity to run his hands over Shige’s torso. He has a little more flesh than he’d had five years ago, but Ryo likes it. Ryo likes everything about his body right now.

“Knees up,” Shige directs, leaning back on his own knees and spreading Ryo’s thighs open. “This is going to feel weird at first, but just endure it, okay? I promise you it gets better.”

“I trust you,” Ryo replies, and he does. Laying here with his elbows holding up his legs is probably the most humiliating position he’s ever been in—but it’s okay, because it’s Shige. Five years ago, if anyone had asked him if he’d be getting ready to bottom for Kato Shigeaki, he would have thought they were insane. Now he’s the one who feels a little insane with how much he wants to feel Shige close to him, all over him, inside him.

The first finger goes in smoothly, but the second is met with more resistance. Ryo tries to relax, but he’s actually _nervous_ and it gets worse the more he thinks about it. But then Shige’s hand is on his cock, stroking him from base to tip entirely too slowly, and Ryo concentrates on pushing up into his hand while accepting more of Shige’s fingers into his body. Three is all he counts, and he hopes that’s all there is because he feels stretched beyond capacity, though Ryo knows what the next step is and remembers feeling its girth in his hand.

He must be making a pained face, because Shige leans down to kiss him and whisper soothing things against his lips as he starts moving his fingers back and forth. Ryo feels them penetrate him deep inside, and one of them hits something that has him jerking on the bed, his eyes flying wide open as he feels like he could jump into the air from the force of his arch.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Shige mumbles, and Ryo answers him in the form of another searing kiss as his body pushes back against the intrusion. “You are so fucking hot right now. I can’t believe I’m about to do this with you.”

“You wildest dreams come true, right?” Ryo teases, though the effect is lost by the breaths that overtake his voice.

“Maybe not the wildest ones,” Shige replies with a chuckle that goes straight to Ryo’s dick. “I wasn’t kidding about the bondage.”

“Next time,” Ryo gasps, and Shige kisses him so hard that he forgets how to breathe. Then Shige pulls away at the same time his fingers do, and Ryo knows exactly what’s going to happen next.

The crinkle of latex, a squirt of more lube, and Shige’s kneeling between his legs, hovering over him and looking from one of Ryo’s hooded eyes to the other. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Shut up and fuck me,” Ryo replies, his words coming out more snappish than he’d intended, but Shige follows orders and Ryo hisses as he’s filled inch by inch.

Once all the way in, Shige gives him a minute to relax, catching his own breath as he pants into Ryo’s collarbone. Ryo sees his hair falling into his face, plastered with sweat, and reaches for it, pushing it back over his hairline and behind his ear. Shige looks up at him, soft eyes darkened with lust, and Ryo feels like he hasn’t known the definition of sexy until he sees Shige like this, buried inside him and temporarily holding back.

“Move,” Ryo says, his voice barely a whisper, and Shige carefully pulls out enough to push back in. It feels good, not nearly as bad as Ryo expected it to be, though it feels even better when Shige snaps his hips to thrust harder and hits that spot he’d reached with his fingers earlier. It has Ryo moaning uncontrollably, which has Shige clinging to him harder and groaning into his skin as they rock together, just like the angry waves of the ocean.

This continues for quite a while, until Ryo can no longer take the pressure accumulating in his groin and reaches down to take his own cock in hand. Shige cries out at the resulting tightness that surrounds him, using more force to push through it, and it’s a combination of everything more than touching himself that has him coming harder than ever before, Shige’s name spilling from his lips.

Shige follows almost right away, pressing his face into Ryo’s chest as he groans out his own release. Suddenly everything is so much brighter, a piercing noise coming out of nowhere, and the last thing Ryo hears before he completely loses his (un)consciousness is “I love you, Ryo.”

Seconds pass, the alarm still beeping while Ryo just stares up at his ceiling. He’s covered in sweat and his boxers are sticky; fuck, he hasn’t had a wet dream since he was a teenager. He finds himself disappointed that it was only a dream, and it really is the summer of 2012 right before he’s about to go on tour with Eito.

He’s going to be late, but there’s something he has to take care of first. After becoming marginally presentable, he drives to the Jimusho and marches straight to the room he hasn’t stepped foot into for over a year now.

“Ryo-chan!” Koyama exclaims, looking happier than Ryo had expected, and he should probably talk to that one, too. Massu and Tegoshi are ignoring him, but that’s okay; they’ll forgive him in due time.

“Shige,” Ryo gasps, out of breath from running all the way from the parking lot. “A minute?”

“Yeah, sure,” Shige replies, his face just as young as Ryo remembers it, though now his features take on an expression of confusion mixed with apprehension.

Massu blocks their way to the door. “Whatever you have to say to Shige, you can say in front of all of us.”

Shrugging, Ryo turns to face Shige. “Suit yourselves,” and he grabs Shige by the collar to pull him into a kiss. Shige freezes at first, long enough for Ryo to second-guess his instinct to come all the way here after a _dream_ , but then Shige’s lips are moving against his and a hand grasps onto his arm to hold him still.

When they part, the other members of NEWS have equally as incredulous looks on their faces, but none more than Shige. “Ryo, what—”

“You’ll thank me in five years,” Ryo tells him, flashing a grin as he heads to the door. “And fucking return my calls, will you?”

He’ll have to explain all of this eventually, but for now he power-walks back to his car and shoots off a quick message before heading to the concert venue: _I hope I can live up to my dream._


End file.
